Sunday, December 31, 2017

P.S SUBJECT: Don't Leave Me Alone 2017

Dear 2017,

You were as evidently and truly been my only friend in the past 364 days. Today you are leaving me all alone in the dark.

This year I found out many truths about myself. I found out that my body has decided to take matters on itself rather than wait for me.

The darkness grew wider in the mid months and you still held a light in the form of my friend whom I never met.

My body wanted to runaway in the streets like a mad man.

And I wanted to kill myself like the disabled young man who was dragged and drugged.

And he was left to die in the vegetable market since he had no hands.

'Good kids' (from well to do families) wanted to show him what 'fun' life is when people can do anything to your body and you sit disabled and die.

Three more girls were murdered and one left to die but escaped. The people around couldn't believe their eyes.

Few more children were killed using latest technologies.

Small groups understood the power of larger groups and so decided to give away their kids to large rich families and they never heard of them again.

Some people cheated me with my money some people cheated me with false love.

All in all I cried an cried more than ever in front of my boss requesting that I don't want to be verbally abused any more.

Verbal abusers found new ways to torment my ears and torture my soul, their words directly made a wound in my already bleeding and patched up heart.

People started to violently abuse me for the first time perhaps they know now that I don't have anyone.

Aimlessly I wandered in the streets like a mad man searching for a clue about my existence.

Where do I live?  Where do I go? Where did I come from? I don't know.

Crows and dogs comforted me by smiling and wagging their tails and greeting saying 'Oh you are one among us now.'

Yes, I replied.

'I am with you now.'

I had a past. I had a future but today I don't know who I am.

Crying is not helping me anymore because there is no channel for the tears to flow.

No way to go! Absolutely nothing!

Oh 2017 you know how to force a person into becoming a slave.

Perhaps now I know I am slave. A slave to young and sweet people who trample me under their shoes.

They press hard until my brain freezes and bleeds.

That's my life if you love to hear bed time stories.

Insults, Verbal abuses and physical threats!

Now I know why I have freedom and rights.

I have the right to remain silent when young beautiful people kick my bruised ears with their words and spread rumors about my past. 

A past that I myself am not aware of!

How do these young managers know about my past?

Is it written on my face.

And a dark spirit followed me where ever I went.

I felt warm in the presence of a ghost.

Perhaps the ghost understood that I am one among them now.

Tears flow endlessly as I enter a new dawn tomorrow.

When all is lost, why does one need hope

I hope that - you the reader understands better and goes on to win the coming year.

Oh 2017 you are leaving me alone.

A loner has only his shadow to cry on.

I have lost!

Sincere Regrets and Regards

Nikhil Sukumaran - Still a victim of verbal abuse, rumors and bullying.